How many times have you let your fears of what others *might be* thinking hold you back in your life or business? Maybe you’ve played it small when you show up for your audience. Perhaps the fears have prevented you from putting yourself out there at all. We both know our desires are meant for us, right? So, it’s imperative to move through any fears, doubts, and guilt that are keeping you from making the impact you desire (and others need).
“When we put ourselves out there, the fear is that people are going to see us the way that we see ourselves. Our biggest insecurities are going to be magnetized because other people are going to see, ‘Oh, she doesn’t have it together. She can’t do it. This is a waste of time.’ So your only job right now, in order to move through this, is to be your biggest cheerleader for yourself.” -Emily Williams
Follow along as I coach one of my clients, Jennie, through the fears keeping her from leveling up in her business. I know her fears and pain points are shared by many. So, as you listen, think about how you can apply this coaching session to your own fears around showing up.
The truth is, a lot of this fear stems from our negative thoughts about ourselves. While you may fear receiving negative feedback, our biggest fear is that people will see us the way we see ourselves. (Including all of our flaws and insecurities.) That’s why I offer tips for ways to remind yourself of what it is you are capable of. (Trust me. It’s usually far more than we give ourselves credit for.) While it’s far easier to place the blame on others for holding us back, we have to recognize the role we play in these roadblocks as well.
While this episode serves as a reminder of all you can do, it also reminds you to be patient with yourself throughout the process. Mastery doesn’t happen overnight. I share a few strategies that can help you practice this patience and gain confidence along the way. As I explain to Jennie, it’s not about doing it perfectly but about continuing to show up.
During this coaching session, I share an important reminder. While we’re so worried about others judging us, we too are often guilty of judging others. Follow along as I walk Jennie through a practice that you can use to shift your mindset when you find yourself judging others. I explain how you can start to move through that fear by instead practicing gratitude and focusing on inspiration. It can totally shift your mindset, elevate your potential, and remove you from a cycle of self-doubt.
In fact, this episode is filled with ideas and strategies you can implement in your daily routines to build self-validation. Being reliant on external validation is a slippery slope, giving far too much power to other people. Instead of allowing others to tear you down, focus on self-validation to build yourself up. If you, like Jennie, feel wrong for self-love or self-indulgence, let this episode remind you of why it’s actually needed to move forward toward your dreams.
As you listen to Jennie discovering what she could do to show herself more love, think about how you could offer yourself more love too. The truth is, self-love is a requirement for your success. You need it to achieve the level of impact you are craving and the vision you dream of. This episode is a perfect reminder of that, offering tips to help you move past your fears and embrace your desires.
So, if you’re ready to let go of judgment and step into self-love, let’s dive into this episode.
In this episode…
[03:47] Welcome, Jennie! We dive into her fear of judgment.
[06:09] What to do when you feel you don’t have the credibility or authority you need.
[08:05] Moving past negative comments and feedback.
[11:37] Getting yourself to a place of confidence.
[13:36] Preparing for success when showing up and putting yourself out there.
[17:35] The truth? It’s not about other people.
[18:52] Why you should stop judging others (and what to do instead).
[21:42] Daily practices for self-validation.
[25:00] Why you need to stop feeling guilty for self-indulgence.
[32:00] The importance of finding daily routines to set the tone for your mindset and actions.
Quotes:
“When we put ourselves out there, the fear is that people are going to see us the way that we see ourselves. Our biggest insecurities are going to be magnetized because other people are going to see, ‘Oh, she doesn’t have it together. She can’t do it. This is a waste of time.’ So your only job right now, in order to move through this, is to be your biggest cheerleader for yourself.” -Emily Williams
“It’s like selling a house. I don’t need to sell that house to hundreds of people. I just need it to resonate with one person who’s then going to invest in it and in buying it.” -Jennie Parker
“If you’re looking for external validation, then that means the moment someone says something negative about you, it’s going to take you down. Your job is learning how to stand on your own two feet, regardless of people saying good things or bad things because the truth is any negative thought is actually about the person saying it.” -Emily Williams
“There’s a way to be grateful but still desire more and to put yourself first. There’s a way to take care of [others] but to still put yourself first. There’s a way to want to have a thriving coaching business and make a lot of money and still be grateful for the present moment. You’re allowed to have both.” -Emily Williams
“If you’re not giving to yourself, you’re not going to be able to help anyone [else]. You’re not going to be able to have energy in your career and business. It’s not going to work. So, it’s a requirement for [your success] to give to yourself first.” -Emily Williams
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