Have you ever finished a project, received positive feedback, and still found yourself thinking, “I could have done better”? I’ve been there countless times. I remember one launch that seemed like a success by all outward measures: we met our goals, clients were thrilled, and yet, I found myself replaying tiny “mistakes” over and over in my head. Did I say the right thing in that email? Was the color scheme just right? This nagging feeling of “not enough” kept stealing the joy of my accomplishments.
The truth is, this inner critic is all too familiar, especially for driven women who are constantly striving for the next milestone. But what if we could change that narrative? Let’s explore some simple yet powerful ways to be kinder to ourselves and celebrate progress, no matter how imperfect it may feel.
1. Embrace Small Wins
One lesson that’s been life-changing for me is the practice of recognizing small wins. During a recent launch, instead of obsessing over minor flaws, I started to focus on the positive moments—like the glowing messages from clients who felt transformed, the moments I felt confident in my own voice, and the connection I built with my team. When I shifted my focus to these small wins, it completely changed my perspective on success.
Celebrating the small stuff—whether it’s a compliment from a client, completing a task ahead of schedule, or simply feeling at peace with your work—helps you see the good in each day. Over time, these small victories add up and build a more joyful journey.
2. Speak to Yourself with Compassion
Years ago, after a particularly intense project, I found myself feeling deflated, even though everything had gone well. A friend noticed my frustration and said, “You wouldn’t be this hard on anyone else. So why treat yourself that way?” That hit home. She was right—if a friend had been in my shoes, I’d be the first to tell her how amazing she was. But it took me a while to give myself that same compassion.
So now, I ask myself, “What would I say to a friend in this situation?” Instead of focusing on what went wrong, I focus on the fact that I did my best with the resources, time, and energy I had. This simple shift has helped me celebrate my efforts and approach future challenges with a healthier mindset.
3. Reflect on Your Journey
Every few months, I like to pause and think about where I started and how far I’ve come. It’s amazing how quickly we forget our own progress. Just recently, I looked back on some of my earliest projects, which felt challenging at the time. Today, those same projects feel second nature, and it’s rewarding to see that growth. There were nights I stayed up late, doubting myself, wondering if I’d ever get the hang of it. But here I am, stronger and more confident.
Taking time to reflect on your journey—whether it’s journaling, looking through old notes, or just sitting with your thoughts—can be an incredible reminder of your resilience and growth.
4. Focus on Effort, Not Just Outcomes
We live in a world that celebrates big wins, but the behind-the-scenes work often goes unnoticed. I used to evaluate my success solely based on outcomes, which set me up for disappointment when things didn’t go perfectly. Over time, I realized that focusing on the effort I put into each project made me appreciate the journey so much more.
Instead of fixating on flawless results, I now give myself credit for showing up fully, giving my best, and learning along the way. Each project, even the “imperfect” ones, teaches me something valuable and contributes to my growth.
5. Adopt a Growth Mindset
I’ve come to accept that no single project defines me; instead, every experience—especially the messy, imperfect ones—builds my skills and resilience. Adopting a growth mindset means seeing each project as a stepping stone, not the destination. I try to approach each experience as a chance to learn and improve, rather than a test of my worth.
One time, after a launch that didn’t go as planned, I initially felt defeated. But as I reflected, I realized I’d learned so much—about what my audience needed, about pacing myself, and about letting go of things outside my control. Now, I embrace these “learning moments” as fuel for future successes.
6. Anticipate Self-Criticism—and Challenge It
Let’s be real: even with all these strategies, the self-critic still pops up now and then. Over time, I’ve learned to expect it and, surprisingly, that takes away some of its power. For example, I know that after any photoshoot, I tend to fixate on how I look. But when I remind myself that this is just a pattern—that in a few days, I’ll probably love those same photos—I can see those critical thoughts for what they are: temporary and not reflective of reality.
Anticipating self-criticism has helped me feel more grounded. I now remind myself to take a deep breath, give it some time, and reframe my thoughts. It doesn’t make the critical voice disappear, but it does make it easier to manage.
Closing Thoughts
If you find yourself weighed down by self-criticism, remember that you’re not alone. We’re all on a journey, and kindness toward ourselves can make the ride a lot smoother. Start by acknowledging small wins, showing yourself compassion, and celebrating your effort—not just the outcome. When you do, you’ll begin to see the beauty in the process, imperfections and all.
So, next time that critical voice shows up, remind yourself of these practices. Be your own biggest cheerleader, and trust that every step forward, no matter how small, is part of a bigger story of growth and success. After all, it’s not about perfection; it’s about progress.
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