One of the things that I’ve been reminded of time and time again is the importance of community and how much people in our lives can positively impact our personal growth (when we allow them to do so).

I don’t know about you, but my relationships have been some of my biggest teachers.

Just this week, one of my colleagues shared a win around letting something go in her life. 

As I read her post, I immediately thought to myself, “OMG I want the same thing.” 

I felt this feeling of wishing I could do the same thing that she was doing (which specifically was letting something go). 

Have you ever been there?

In that moment, I was so grateful for her shedding light on something I hadn’t seen before. And instead of going to a place of jealousy, I decided to look at it for what it was: information. 

I also recognized that there was more to my reaction than what was on the surface.

Her share allowed me to dig deeper and evaluate what was true for me. 

What did I actually want? What was I resisting? How could I show up in a more aligned way? 

That’s why I love jealousy and use it as a way to get clear on what I actually want whenever it comes up.

(Here’s a video I recorded on this topic.) 

I grew up believing jealousy was a bad thing. So, for example, when I was unemployed at 23-years old, I tried to push that feeling away. 

I wanted to be happy for my friends who were getting their dream jobs, making 6-figures and getting married, but I was jealous that they had the life I wanted — the life I had been on track for. 

I didn’t know where I went wrong — I went to a good school, graduated at the top of my class — yet somehow had to apply three times to even get an interview at Starbucks. It wasn’t exactly the life I’d pictured. 

Looking back, I can see that jealousy played a key role in helping me go from Starbucks to seven figures, and I’m grateful for it. 

Here are 3 ways that jealousy helped me at that time and how you, too, can use it to your advantage…

1. Jealousy can motivate you

Looking back, when I moved to London back in 2010, a wealthy friend asked me to housesit for her. I couldn’t get over how gorgeous her home was. I was jealous of the view, the garden and even the shampoo she used. (I remember squeezing the bare minimum out of the bottle because I didn’t want her to know I tried it!) 

She was in finance and had a thriving career — I was a nanny living in an apartment the size of a closet. I was jealous, but that experience motivated me. The truth was that I was over the closet-sized flat and wanted a different life for myself. I decided to stop waiting and go for my dreams instead. After all, nothing was going to change unless I did.  

So the next time you feel jealous, channel that feeling to motivate you into action. When you see someone out there running their own business, nabbing that 6-figure role or marrying that dreamboat, ask yourself what steps you can take to make your dream come true.

2. Jealousy can show you what you want

We are the generation of choice, and all of that choice can be overwhelming. I spent years “not knowing what I wanted” which lead me to the Starbucks job. I wondered when clarity was going to finally show up. The truth was, I did know what I wanted. When I started to pay attention to what (and who) I was jealous of and why, things got clearer. 

In my experience, jealousy can shine a light on your next steps and give you the clarity you’ve been longing for. When you feel jealous of someone, ask yourself why and use it to help you get out of your quarter-life crisis and on the path towards your dreams.

3. Jealousy can show you what’s possible.

When I first started my business, I met a woman who told me she had created a multiple 6-figure business in her first year. She also told me it was possible to turn my yearly salary into my monthly salary. At first, I was skeptical (and jealous of what she had created) but then I chose to think of it in a different way. If she’d done it, didn’t that mean I could too? 

Jealousy isn’t an indication of someone having something that you can’t have. It isn’t a sign that something is already taken or that there’s no space for you. Someone having what you want means it’s possible for you too! So take a look around. That raise is possible. That loving relationship is meant for you. That dream trip to Paris is there for the taking. People do it all the time, and you can too!

And remember, jealousy is just one of the tools that you can use to get clear. If you’re craving clarity, check out my Dream Life Guide. You can download it for free, and it will literally take you step-by-step through my life by desire methodology.

>>>Download the Dream Life Guide