This week, there was a theme across the board with my clients:

Allowing fear to hold them back from what they really want and from showing up to a greater degree.

Maybe you can relate…

How many times have you had an idea—a really good one—and told yourself, “I’ll do it later”?

Maybe you’ve been meaning to post more on Instagram to grow your brand.

Maybe you’ve thought about launching a podcast, writing a book, or offering your services.

Maybe you even started, but then you froze.

You told yourself you’d do it when you’re ready.
You’d share when it’s perfect.
You’d put yourself out there when you feel more confident.

But let’s be honest—is it really about timing? Or is it about fear?

Because if we’re really being real…

• Fear of failure keeps us from starting.
• Fear of judgment keeps us from showing up.
• Fear of rejection keeps us from following through.

And the biggest, sneakiest fear of all?

The Spotlight Effect.

Why We Think Everyone’s Watching (When They Aren’t)

Have you ever walked into a room and thought everyone was staring at you? Maybe you stumbled over a word, had a coffee stain on your shirt, or said something awkward in a meeting—and suddenly, you were convinced that everyone noticed.

That’s the Spotlight Effect, a psychological phenomenon where we believe people are paying way more attention to us than they actually are.

But here’s the truth:

Most people are too busy worrying about themselves to focus on you.

Rachel Hollis even wore a shirt to one of her live events that said, “No one’s watching. No one cares.” And she’s right!

People are scrolling, distracted, thinking about their own insecurities, their own lives.

Are they reading every post you post? Every email? Wathcing your every move? 

No!

And yet so often, we think they are. And it holds us back from living out our purpose.

Even Mel Robbins, one of the world’s top motivational speakers, struggled with this. She knew she should be posting videos of her speaking, but it took her two years to actually do it. (She talks about this in her book The Let Them Theory.)

And when she finally did?

She kickstarted her path to inspiring millions.

So why are we so scared to take action?

The Real Reasons We Procrastinate (It’s Not Just Laziness)

Most people assume procrastination is about being lazy or unmotivated. But science tells a different story.

Procrastination is actually a fear problem, not a time management issue.

According to research, we avoid tasks that trigger uncomfortable feelings—like self-doubt, fear of failure, or perfectionism. Instead, we distract ourselves with easier, more familiar things (hello, social media scrolling!).

It’s not that we don’t want to take action—it’s that our brains associate it with discomfort.

And the worst part?

The longer we wait, the scarier it feels.

The Beliefs That Hold Us Back (And How to Break Through Them)

Here are three major mindset traps that keep us stuck—and how to reframe them:

1. “I’m not ready yet.”

This is one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves. We think we need more experience, more credentials, or more confidence before we take action.

But confidence doesn’t come before action. It comes from action.

🔥 Reframe it: What if instead of waiting to feel ready, you decided that taking the first step would make you ready?

2. “It has to be perfect.”

Perfectionism isn’t about high standards—it’s about fear. It’s our brain’s way of protecting us from criticism. But in reality, perfectionism leads to procrastination, which leads to zero progress.

🔥 Reframe it: Done is better than perfect. Imperfect action is what leads to success.

Think about your favorite creators, business owners, or speakers. Were they perfect when they started? Nope. But they showed up anyway.

3. “What will people think?”

This is the Spotlight Effect in action. We assume people will judge us if we fail, stumble, or put ourselves out there. But in reality, most people won’t even notice.

And the ones who do? They’ll probably be inspired that you had the courage to go for it.

🔥 Reframe it: Instead of asking, “What if people judge me?” ask, “What if my message helps just one person?”

How to Get Out of Your Own Way (Starting Today)

Enough waiting. Enough overthinking. Here’s how to break free and start now:

1. Lower the stakes.

Stop making this one post, one launch, or one moment feel like life or death. It’s just a step. The first of many. No one gets it perfect the first time.

2. Set a timer and take action.

Give yourself five seconds to start. That’s it. Post the thing. Write the email. Record the video. Just do it.

3. Make it about service.

Instead of focusing on you, focus on who you’re helping. Someone needs to hear your message today. Are you going to let fear stop you from reaching them?

4. Remind yourself: No one’s watching (and if they are, they probably don’t care).

That Instagram story? Most people will scroll past. That email? Most people will skim it. That thing you’re scared to do? Most people won’t even notice—unless you keep showing up.

And when you do? They’ll remember you. They’ll listen. They’ll be inspired.

5. You’re stronger than you think. Yes, there will be some people who don’t get it. Some people who don’t like you. Some people who judge you. But you are strong enough to handle that, and frankly, that’s going to happen whether you put yourself out there or not! So don’t let those people stand in the way of you serving those who need what you have to offer.

And here’s the final truth:

The only way to get better, to grow, to build confidence—is to start.

So what’s something you’ve been putting off because of fear?

Hit reply and tell me—I’d love to help you get unstuck.

Because no one’s watching. No one cares. And even if they are?

They’re probably wishing they had the courage to do it too.

Now go make a move. 🚀